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Moving on…..

July 15, 2015

There has to be some way to make this blog private.  Not that I want this private *all* the time…but sometimes I like to disappear for a while and write meandering posts to myself that other people can’t see.

Because, frankly, there’s this weird dichotomy between wanting to connect and wanting to be left the hell alone.  What the heck is that all about?  I used to be this huggy person. I’d give hugs to all and sundry.  These days I’m more about the, “Do I really have to touch you?  How about we nod and smile and we don’t even shake hands.”

I dream about reclusivity.

But I also like to share funny pictures of cats, Attack on Titan, dinosaurs, and Pluto. Among other hilarious things.

Possibly hilarious only to myself.

Pinterest was the perfect platform for that – share fun things, don’t talk to anyone. Ooooh my gosh how cool is that?  Except now there’s all kinds of spam and they’ve started pushing “things to buy” or “related pins” or whatever. Ugh. It was my precious. Now it’s been invaded by scumbags.

Anyway.  I’ve been thinking I’d like to simplify my life.  What I thought I meant by that was “be minimalist and focus on what’s important” but I’ve come to realize what I actually mean by this is “Get people I don’t care about to leave me the hell alone”.*

There is a huge gulf between what I am and what is required of me, and I’m getting pretty dang ticked off by that stupid gulf.

Frankly, I’m getting ticked off by lots of things these days.  I used to think there was something wrong with me and I needed to change to make other people happier.  No.  I’m serious.  I really totally believed that.

Now I know there’s something wrong with me and I think other people need to get over themselves.  Is this what menopause feels like?  Am I always going to be a grumpy old woman from now on?

Almost don’t give a damn. Still do a bit.

*Pretty much everyone. Including but not limited to certain members of my ward and family, telemarketers, and myself.

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